Public Paganism

While some Pagans are comfortable with full disclosure of their beliefs, others are not.  Some are beyond uncomfortable -- they are fearful of revealing that they are Pagan.  Unfortunately these fears may be justified as revealing one's minority religious views can lead to conflict within families, socially, at work, and in one's community.  One the other hand, there are numerous stories of those who feared revealing their religion and found that once "out" the repercussions were far weaker than they had feared.

There are many opinions and views on this issue.  Please don't let anyone pressure you into 'coming out of the broom closet' until you feel totally comfortable with it.  This is a matter of personal choice. If you are struggling with this question you may want to consider some intermediate positions or steps rather than thinking in "all or nothing" terms.  Remember that once people know you are Pagan there's no going back in terms of secrecy.

Important Questions

A dilemma often faced by new Pagans is whether and/or when to reveal their Paganism to others.  I find this to be a serious issue on many levels.  On the one hand, I realize that many of us (and myself included for several years) worry that the risks of making our religious preference public outweigh any benefits.  In some situations the risks are great.  On the other hand, the longer we remain silent and hidden the longer the destructive stereotypes will continue to haunt us.  Before you decide to make your religious preference known you should consider these issues carefully.   

How might knowledge of your religious preference affect your primary relationships?  That is, your relationship with your:

• lover, partner, significant other, spouse

• children or step-children

• extended family, your own parents

• close friends

• neighbors, landlord

• your children's teachers

• extended family, your own parents

• boss, co-workers, professors, teachers

• others?

What is your primary motivation for making your religious preference known at this particular time?

• to display a key part of your identity

• to request fairness and equity

• to feel authentic and "real" (rather than like you are hiding something all the time)

• to be able to wear Pagan symbols and celebrate holidays

• to reveal this to someone who are starting an intimate relationship with

• to raise your children as Pagan

• to show off and draw attention

• to be edgy, rebellious and nonconforming

• to be like the rest of your friends

• something else?

Have you studied and practiced long enough to feel confident and secure in your beliefs?  

• Are you ready for those who will confront you?

• Are you read to do a lot of teaching and explaining?

• Are you ready for the resistance and deliberate shunning?

No one can answer these questions for you.  Only you can determine when the time is right. 

Avoid "All or Nothing" Thinking

Rather than considering this question as, "Should I stay in total secrecy or should I be totally open?" perhaps it is better to think of steps or stages.  Perhaps you could chat with other Pagans at a metaphysical store that is some distance from your own community.  Another way to chat with Pagans is to attend festivals, gatherings, or classes.  Many Pagans use other names (sacred names, ritual names, nicknames), so you wouldn't have to reveal your name. 

Or you may want to start by telling your closest friend(s).  Whatever you decide, I want to encourage you to take it slowly.  Many people find that coming out is much easier than they expected, but there are those who face problems.  Remember that if problems come your way you can find Pagans to talk to on the internet and you can find legal counsel if needed.

Meeting Other Pagans in Person

Through Internet Networking
Once you become familiar with the various Yahoo! Groups and the Witches Voice Networking you will be well on your way to finding ways to make contacts in your area.  Through the local and state-wide groups you will hear about many events and study groups. If you are a college student there may be a Pagan student group at your university or one near by.

Your Local Metaphysical Store
These are great places to find out about classes or gatherings in your area.  If you are comfortable with some level of public identity, try to attend a public gathering, ritual, or festival. 

Gatherings Sponsored by Pagan Organizations
Both the Pagan Pride Project and the Pagan Unity Campaign sponsor local, regional, and national activities.  They offer a way to get involved with a good cause and meet Pagans and Pagan-friendly folks.  Another route you might take is to find Pagan organizations that you admire and then check for special gatherings.  For example, the Covenant of Unitarian Universalist Pagans website often lists gathering and events, and the Reclaiming Tradition sponsors Witch Camps around the world. You can find out about events in your area through the Witches Voice Index of Events.

And There's Earth Day Celebrations
One way to get to know other Earth-friendly people is to get involved in local efforts in your community, and/or get involved with Earth Day festivities.  Learn more at  Earth Day Network.

Finding a Coven and/or a Teacher

One question you ought to consider before actually joining a coven is whether you would prefer classes and study groups, or whether your desire is to be a part of a close-knit working circle.  Many coven members are invited to join following a class-type experience.  I have found the classes in the Reclaiming Tradition and the Witch Camps to be especially helpful.  They have provide sound training without the more intense commitment of a group.

If you decide you are would like to end your solitary status and find a coven and/or a teacher, I would suggest getting to know the Pagans in your area first.  You can find Coven Directories such as the one at the Witches Voice called "Covens, Groups, and Organizations."

Keep in mind that when you join a coven and engage the teaching services of the leadership you are making a big commitment.  Many covens are small and develop a family-type relationship.  The coven leadership will spend a lot of time with you -- they deserve your respect, time, energy, and best effort.  Take your time and make the best choice for you and your situation.

Unfortunately there are some "teachers" out there who are not qualified and/or not ethical.  The Covenant of the Goddess website has great section on what to look for in a teacher (see "A Few Things To Think About When Seeking a Teacher").  Another source of good information is "Finding a Teacher, Mentor, or Guide,"  at Wicca.com.  This includes the Advanced Bonewits Cult Danger Evaluation Frame -- a great survey tool for evaluating a potential teacher.